I know how crushing it is to fake a smile every day when you’re surrounded by friends and family. I know it hurts to say that you are okay when your eyes reveal a different story. When from inside you wanna scream until your throat bleeds everything you are holding in. I know how hard it is to laugh at jokes and wipe off those tears when no one is watching.
And when you finally enter the room and shut the door, that fake happiness disappears. You bury your face into the pillow, curl your body and cry your heart out. Nights feel darker and loneliness haunts you with memories that are still alive. You hug your pillow as tight as you can, knowing that nobody is there to calm you down. This feeling of turning into someone that you weren’t, kills you, little by little.
You are alone
You are weak
You are hurt
But darling, you don’t know how strong you are. You hide your feelings, you keep them to yourself because you don’t want to be a burden on them. You pretend to be happy, knowing that who you are with is also going through some sort of problem. You share your happiness with them so they can forget their sorrows. You think about their feelings. And when someone gives you a goodbye hug, you hold a litter longer in an attempt to soak up all the love and warmth. I just want you to know that you are brave enough to shine brighter, bold enough to fly higher. Broken doesn’t make you weak. There are so many beautiful moments in messiness. There is love, joy, and light and you deserve it all. So yeah, maybe life becomes messy, but maybe, it doesn’t need to be anything else. Cry your heart out so that you can reload yourself with what you are missing. Just know that I am proud of you. You are awesome, always were and always will be.
