Words come easily to me. They are all I know of. But I often found myself tongue-tied around you. I remember you used to joke about how I, out of the people, should never be tongue-tied. But I couldn’t help it. Your presence caused such a turmoil of emotions in my heart that my brain could barely comprehend the things I needed to say out loud. I knew I loved you. I knew I’d care for you till the very end. And I knew that your name will be forever registered on the pages of my diary.
I thought I did everything I could to tell you that you are all my days and nights, that you are the one my heart beats for, but the thing is you were all about the words when I was all about the actions. I know there is nothing wrong with that, a person can only say ‘I love you’ so many times without hearing it back. I guess I have been afraid to let you know that I care. I knew that your love for me is so much greater than what I had to offer to you, and so I knew that you hold so much more power to hurt me than I do to hurt you.
But today that the other side of my mattress didn’t sink in the shape of you, and I no longer pull out the broken strands of your hair from my brush, somehow I dare to say all the words I never could. I could call you and tell you everything that you need to hear. I have my words, I have the courage, and I know my vulnerability. I finally know what to say to you, but you are no longer here to listen to it.
